Father Christmas

If you have children, then you must be aware of the 'helpless Santa Claus' epidemic in every holiday special on TV. What once felt like a one-off, freak Christmas disaster saved by a claymation reindeer with the infamous nose, has now become the tiresome trope of every Christmas in pop culture children's media in danger of not coming to pass given some negligence or powerlessness on St. Nick's part. A broken sleigh is a favorite. Lost maps, missing Christmas star, icy streets. Nobody is prepared for the slightest inconvenience. Is it not anxiety-inducing? Santa can't get his act together without the constant help of six-year-olds. But my five-year-old only says, midway through another broken sleigh episode, "When do I get to help Santa?" So I guess that's the fantasy.

Anyway, I felt inspired to beef up old floundering Father Christmas and bring him back to rights. No missing cookies or malfunctioning sleighs or foggy weather will impede the march of Christmas spirit here.